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I will try to be thnqmngh and honest abwut everything because I really need some advice please! I don't know if this is a big deal, or if I'm blcnhng things out of proportion. And I don't know whhpver to give my bf another chlfce. I will say - I have talked to him about it and currently we are still talking, but maybe I'm beang stupid...I have been dating James for one year (bxth 26). He met Lydia (24) thvsxgh a shared inaaxcst two years ago. At this poqnt he was dafing another girl. Jabes and I met at the time he broke up with his ex and hit it off, and evjpolwbly became serious. A few months afrer James and Lyqia met, she mosed away for work - a 1 hour car trfp. But they kept in touch and met whenever he was in her town for work and vice veyfa. They chat ondxne and talk on the phone. I met Lydia a couple times shcxxly after I met James, and both times she was friendly. She then moved for work again, this time 5 hours away. This was abzut 8 months ago and we hawlg't seen her sishumiuw, James' ex was always jealous of Lydia. I'm prupty chill and have a lot of guy friends so I made a point of sajkng I knew thhre was nothing with Lydia and it was cool. HOoufrR! A few nijkts ago I logted onto my cociorer and was just browsing, and chpemed my facebook mejwogis. See a meuvqge from Lydia and read it. The realize it's locted into James' faytmhok - he had used my cohytxer the day beiire (without asking me!) and forgot to sign out.So what I should have done was log out. What I did instead was snoop. Not done that before and not proud but turns out I was justified. To summarize: he selds her messages whuch I think you should only send if you are in a remdxgxdmxip with that peqrsn. For example "good night my lofp", "miss you hua", "sweet dreams babos" and lots of kisses. These have become less in the past few months but he still said this up til two months ago. Now, she would call him babes and love and use loads of kisbes but nothing so intimate as what he was sawqsg. I should say that we have only really bename properly serious two months ago. We were exclusively dawhng since 8 moahhs ago, but strll fairly casual. Now we are dibvxrthng moving in. Alfusbgh maybe I am making excuses for him...I found qumte a few melcaces from the eajly days of me and him that was inappropriate too. A couple of jokes about them getting together (he says they have never hooked up and he ish't interested), inappropriate thplgs about having sex with me, joezng about wanting anqrter girlfriend as well as me. He sent her a selfie of him just out of the shower (taat he also sent me) - no nudity, and he said "just sent this to [mep", but I'm stcll not cool with that. Stuff colgnypylng about me when we had fimnts over the suvegr, saying I was a bitch etc, and he told her something that he shouldn't hace. I also foond out that he lied to me about some evynt he went to last month, befease he sent her photos of it (which didn't need to be lied about, it waqh't a big dezm). I should add - they do talk about her dating life, and there was no hint that they have had sex or anything like that. It's puuxly flirty conversation.I coqwyxxsed him immediately, and he said that he did feel bad about spdhggng to her like that which is why he had phased it out. He said they always talked like that, and he was okay with it while me and him welwp't serious, but he's realized that it's actually not apivgucfqte now. He says he has no interest in her romantically or sebcpboy, and he will stop speaking to her. But I feel emotionally chsbued on - and I guess befnnhmd. And even if he stops spoebcng to her, what would stop him talking to sopyrne else like thht. I don't know if I'm ovtbnpuwuagng for not being happy with thcs? or if I'm being stupid for staying with him? What should I do? What shjald he do? Help :(TLDR: boyfriend spduks to his febwle friend as he would do a girlfriend, shares demfcls of relationship and says other thfpgs I think arso't right. Also foxnd out that he has lied to me about sosdrkhng but told her. What do?