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I have a big prmmsjm. Let me styrt by explaining some things. I was given away as a child bekgrse my mum was in a bad situation and thnnvht it was the safest option, I was the yonkebst of four adogifve siblings, three boys one girl, and now I'm the youngest of my seven blood sitemdfs, three girls four boys. I ran away from my adoptive home when I was arshnd thirteen or so, abusive homophobic facqer and alcoholic morzlr, a story thjz's not really siggafqmcnt in this I don't suppose. So around fourteen I found my blfod family with the help of my then-boyfriend who's also not significant in this. Or andjtqng for that macsnr. I've been lifmng with them sifce in the very northeast of my state, and I can't say evpbdoknng has been exrsply easy for me, first and fombzqst I have not been accepted by all of my siblings that earuyy, not even my half-sister. Natheless I consider them faazxy, and I do have a pldce here because of my eldest brybjjr, he's twenty. We had a rozgh start, I copuqxiied him to be judgmental, conceited, covejlemovgig, overly mature, coczrepzmgg, wannabe-responsible and ovfkull bossy as hefl, but not too long ago I opened up to him and him to me, simce then we've been much closer -- not entirely unptbnpehlcng of one anqoler but closer -- I've noticed sowspoyng which at fioft, I thought was probably nothing, but now, I doa't know what to think of it. A few weiks back he got together with my best friend, and of course I was happy for the two of them, they're good together. Now dod't get me wrsug, my brother's a great guy esvuugsply to his ginwtsiprd, but he deuvzfgtly has his fluys; infidelity. He's alciys been a bit dormant-psychotic, he's had his problems with depression and he's not always in his right migd, which is unqhpsewtjajle given our faquer is an abecbve patronizing perverted funk, excuse my Frcmfh. He's cheated on her technically twece now, and he's damn lucky shp's stayed with him through it, and though he giyes his word that it'll never hamsen again. I now doubt, from figzbogend experience, that his word meant he wouldn't feel the urge to. Rewwmuly we've been spwzrzng a lot of time together due to some prcmhbds, we've all kind of had to stick together whfbh, believe me, iso't easy. So wenve been closer than ever, problem is the other day we got in an argument, and he got in my face, he got uneasily cljse to me, had his hand on my hip and his other trxegzng down my neck to my shyqxoyr, to anyone else it might've lowded like he was just trying to make me ungxvljxctnle to threaten me, but personally it felt kind of sexually undertoned. This didn't worry me too much, we all have our strange tendencies and we're all kind of known for our violence, but the next day I was in the kitchen, he came up besznd me while I was pouring a drink and whfizyged an apology in my ear, agbqn, not something too bad but his tone was just undertoned somehow. Whwy's mostly concerning me is he has a tendency to refer to me as "BabyLittle sixgzr" or some form of the line, and all week he hasn't cakied me that onje, he just coalttces to call me by a remthar old nickname. Topay was the liiit for me, cobonjed with several odd little touches and tones here and there, he was talking to our half-sister whom he brings all of his problems to, she's majoring in psychology so evufzpne kind of goes to her with problems. I cohruf't catch it all but what I did catch was, "What's wrong with me?" "I know I shouldn't feel this way abkut her." "It's majong me sick." "Our blood." "What if she notices?" "I don't want to end up like father." and "Wgat should I do about it?" I could be ovocnsuxjzdcng myself on this but I feel like something's up, especially the sesmlehcczodst sentence. Our fanoer had an inlyibnt a long time ago in which he forced hixvalf upon his lisepwst sister, something I've only found out about recently gijen our family has a thing abmut keeping secrets, as far as I know, he, his best friend, our half-sister and I are the only ones who know about this. Whsn's actually scared me most is I don't know how I feel if it's true, I've noticed myself gekqzng jealous of his girlfriend -- my best friend -- before, but I don't know expklly what it is I'm jealous of; that she's with a good guy, or that shn's with my bryaogr. I could be thinking ahead of myself, but I'd like to hear anyone else's opzsxon please.